Comment Wall
My Storybook Project can be found at: https://sites.google.com/view/a-clash-of-tricksters/home
Please feel free to leave any comments on it here!
Introduction to an aspiring Doc
Frankenstein's Monster, Wikimedia My name is Drew Fancher and I am a senior this year at OU. My major is Chemical Biosciences and I am also pursuing a minor in Spanish and Pre-med. I spent my summer working at an Amazon factory and studying for the MCAT. I love science, which is why I chose my major, but I also really like reading, writing, and studying literature. My favorite book that I have ever read is Frankenstein , by Mary Shelley. The writing is incredible and the story itself is much more than that popular green monster. I love listening to all different kinds of music. My taste in music ranges from Merle Haggard, to Travis Scott, to Led Zeppelin. I am currently relearning guitar after taking a beginner’s class on campus last spring. This was probably the best class I took last semester because it was really well organized to create a relaxed environment to learn how to teach yourself different songs. I have also recently gotten into cooking. I love food a
Hey Drew,
ReplyDeleteI think your story was very good I like how you went straight to the point in what your story covered which was the topic of tricksters. I like how you used the story of Reynard the Fox and told it through his own viewpoint. I like how you made him act as if he's to sly and sadistic but at the same time cool and collected. I wonder if there will be more characters added into the story, I feel like your story could benefit from adding some companions for Reynard that will help him become the best trickster he aspires to be. You might see what happens when you add more characters into your story that could help convey just how vindictive and clever Reynard is. Overall, i am very excited to see how your story turns out, you seem to be on the right track and will perfectly tailor the story to reflect the unit that inspired it.
Hi Drew,
ReplyDeleteI haven’t seen a storybook revolving around tricksters yet, but I think it’s a great idea! I really like the character of Reynard, he already seems very interesting. The narrator is very mysterious. The last paragraph about how he witnessed the original trick makes me want to learn more about him or her. I am anxious to see who the greatest tricksters are that Reynard is going to have to go up against. I think not telling much about the narrator adds to the mystery of the story, I would like to know a little bit more about the narrator. Is it someone we should know from other stories? Or is it an original character that you created? I also would have liked to know more about Reynard as well. What if the narrator gave us a little bit more information about why he had been following Reynard, or maybe a quick summary of the tricks that Reynard had preformed?
Hey Drew,
ReplyDeleteI want to begin with complimenting your writing style as it is very elegant and attractive to the reader. As soon as I began to read your piece I was taken by the beauty of the diction. My one concern is that you might not be hitting the word count but I may only be saying that because your work made me want more! I think there is some room for improvement as far as presentation goes, but overall I enjoyed the story a lot. Is mischief going to be your central theme in the storybook? Will there be more animals that you draw from or will that change in pace as well? What attracted you to this style of narrative? I wish you all the luck in the future stories and I will be keeping up with your blog!
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a Trickster storybook, and I am supremely curious as to the identify of the narrator as well as the tricksters yet to be introduced.
The banner image is a lovely painting, and I enjoy how each of the animals seems to be watching the apple exchange almost nervously. I'm dying to know whether the narrator simply watched the first trick (which I'm guessing was the Adam/Eve/apple scenario) or was responsible for it too... But I'm sure that will be answered soon enough. I wonder if Anansi will make an entrance, and I feel quite sure Loki deserves a place here as well. The writing style is dignified without feeling frumpy, and the tone throughout is perfect for an introductory address.
I would recommend placing a Comment Wall link on the home site, for future reader convenience, but this is the critique I have. Delightful work, and I cannot wait to read more!
Hi Drew,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed how your introduction had a short story of how the fox tricked some birds, followed by the narration that gave us information about what the rest of the stories were going to be about. It seems like the original trickster is going to see if the self-proclaimed greatest trickster of all is actually the greatest. Even though your introduction wasn't very long, it was enough to make me interested in reading the rest of the stories.
Really the only complaint I have is that I couldn't find a link to this comment wall post anywhere on your site. I personally like having the link on the top by the links to the other pages, but it's really up to you where you put it.
Anyway, I look forward to seeing what happens with Reynard and our mysterious narrator. Good luck with the rest of your project!
Hi Drew!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was really amazing! I think that it was a very unique way to let the reader know what the rest of the stories would be about. I am eager to find out who the tricksters are. Even as a short and simple introduction, I was still very interested in learning more about what you are going to be writing about.
Excellent job!
Hi Drew! I am a huge fan of the stories about tricksters, so i was immediately super interested in your story! Your story had good suspense and humor all at the same time. Your introduction is fun and something i havent seen yet so i really enjoyed that. I like how you incorporated some dialogue from the fox and a little story to engage the readers into wanting to read more. I am interested to see what your character does to the fox in order to trick him and make themselves the greatest trickster of all time. In your introduction i would like to hear more about your character, what they are like and maybe a tiny idea of what they are going to do to the fox in order to trick him. I think a little bit more information would be great, but either way great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew, I really enjoyed your intro story! It immediately grasped my attention and kept it throughout the whole reading. I really wished it was not so short, I wanted to read more! You wrote it very well, and I am very interested to read and learn more about both Reynard and the character whose point of view we are reading from. I thought it was also interesting that Reynard the Fox can speak. I am excited to hear what else he has to say; will they all be boasts of how clever he is? I guess one thing I would have to suggest is to introduce the character whose perspective we are viewing! I would like to know more about him or her. Is he or she a trickster as well? Other than that, I thought this small snippet of your Storybook was fantastic and I can not wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew! I thought that you did a wonderful job on your introduction story! I loved how when you began the story, you really jumped right in and captured my attention. I thought that your story was very well written and easy to follow. I felt as though I was in the story myself. I thought the images you picked for your storybook really complimented it. It seems like a really fun story so I am interested to see what your other stories are like! Overall, great job and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew, I love that you chose to focus on tricksters, as they are such a dominate part in a majority of myth tales. Exploring both the characters of the fox and the rabbit is quite interesting for many tales have had both of them as part of a larger story to add context. When it came to the Indian and religious type of stories these types of characters helped the story develop the most. I enjoyed how you mixed the fox and the rabbit story, as the fox story was quite short. I enjoyed the dialogue of the rabbit, so I would add more of that to the story of the fox. Also, nice job in the authors not of "The Rabbit", I would maybe put that at the beginning of your second story to add a little context.
ReplyDeleteHi Drew,
ReplyDeleteI just read your story "The Fox." I wish there would've been an author's note so that I could have had more clarity on the original story and what you're changes to it were. I did really like your story and found it easy to read and understand. I did wonder who was telling the story though. Was it supposed to be from the Rabbit's perspective and then the other story would be from the Fox's perspective? I liked how in the story you made the reader curious as to how it would end or how the story would continue. The narrator obviously had a plan or something up his sleeve and the way you told the story made me wonder what he was going to do to the fox. It was a good beginning story. Good job!
Hey Drew,
ReplyDeleteThe theme of your storybook sounds awesome! I think trickster stories are some of my favorite tales to read, so I'm glad I was able to find someone doing a project on them. I like the idea you have here, pitting one trickster against others as a test. The first story of the Fox served as a great introduction to your main adventurer. I think this brief encounter the reader experiences with him gives them a good idea of the thought process of the Fox and what to expect of him in future tales. Like someone before me mentioned, it may be a good idea to add a little author's note, especially to the introductory story, just for a little background information for the readers. As for the Rabbit story, I really enjoyed your writing style. The way you write really makes me feel the thoughts, intentions, and actions of the characters. I like the voice of the narrator that you have created. I think it would be really interesting if you consider revealing what kind of character the narrator is, and pitting him against the Fox at some point. Overall, excellent writing and plot. I look forward to reading more!
This is such a creative topic for a storybook! You're writing is very well done and the banner images are beautiful. It took me a bit to realize that "The Fox" was your introduction page, but that is most likely more due to my sleep-deprivation than your writing. It's not clear who the speaker is in the introduction, but I think it's fine. Perhaps the identity could be reveal as part of the last story you do? I don't know if you've thought that far ahead. What I'm trying to say is that the introduction comes off as mysterious rather than confusing, so I wouldn't worry about changing it. The layout for the in-text photo in the introduction looks great! I would recommend trying to find some type of visual aid for the Brer Rabbit story so the difference between the two pages doesn't feel as stark. Other than that, great job! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Drew! I think your storybook is very creative and after reading some, I look forward to reading more! One thing I was a little confused about was how you named the first page as “The Fox” instead of “Introduction”. I thought I was reading a story instead of your introduction, which I knew you had a storybook instead of a portfolio. I think you should rename that page as “Introduction” because then it makes the later story easier to relate. Also, who is the speaker in the intro? Maybe specify who the speaker is in the little blurp on “The Fox” page. Is it you or another animal? Lastly, I would love to see a small Author’s Note on one of the first two slides to explain a little more about the overall theme and how you came to think of it. Anyways, I love the idea of the “trickster” and I can’t wait to read more about his adventures!
ReplyDeleteHello Drew!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your stories! I liked the trickster stories and You did a great job at retelling them. The idea to name each story by the animal is a great idea. The image that you used in the Fox story was interesting. I do think the story could have been a little longer. I was not sure what person you were telling the story from either. Maybe in the next stories, make it clear to what person you are telling the story from. I do want to praise you on writing the story from a fox perspective because foxes are known to be quite clever in stories. Also, where is the Authors note. I am kind of lost to where the story is coming form as well. Authors note really helps connect the audience to the story you are writing! Other than that you story is good.
Hey Drew!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your stories! It looks very nice and I think you did a really good job creating it. I also really liked how you named each post after the animal. I would probably recommend adding a link to your comment wall somewhere after the stories. I think your stories are written very well and are very fun and easy to read. Great job and I can't wait to see what else you do with this storybook.
Hi Drew, I really enjoyed reading your story The Fox! I liked how your story is very much a trickster story, but instead of choosing a fictional path, you chose a realistic path, which helps to reveal the innate trickster in animals (and in all of us!). I think you story is well written and easy to follow. I did notice your story does seem a bit short. Maybe you could go into more detail regarding some of your statements in the last paragraph. I feel like, although your story can stand on its own, this would be a great place to add additional details. The picture you chose to represent this story is spot on! Not only is it an accurate depiction of what took place, but it also helps the reader the imagine the situation. I also could not find you author’s note for this particular story. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHello, Drew!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading your first story, The Fox. I thought you did a great job of introducing this character. I like how you have chosen to do a first-person point of view. I always find that this perspective is very engaging for the reader, giving the illusion that you are the narrator. I think you also did a wonderful job with your sentence structure by using beautiful sentences. I always find that part of writing challenging, but you have done it well. I think that you have a really interesting idea to have the Fox cross paths with other tricksters, as the narrator observes his every move.
One thing that I would suggest is to create a page or text box for your author's notes. I was not able to find it on the page or a link to a separate page. The author's note is important for the reader because we may miss a connection that you made to the original story. Whether it is a change, something you kept the same, or just your explanation of where some of the other aspects of your story came from, it is can be helpful to clear up some of the questions other readers may have. Although I did not find your story confusing, I would like to see what you were thinking when creating it.
Overall, I think you did a fantastic job and I will definitely be back to read the next story!
Hey Drew! I really like the premise of your story. I thought focusing on stories about tricksters was clever and creative. I think The Fox needed more of an author's note to give the reader more an idea of what is going on. On The Rabbit and The Tanuki, I felt a little more detail could be added between the dialogue to give the reader a better feel for the story. I thought the layout was really well done! It was very easy to navigate. Overall, you did a great job this semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Drew!
ReplyDeleteYour stories are wonderful! I liked the progression of your stories and how they transitioned from one to the next; they all made sense and it was easy to follow. The use of dialogue was amazing and really helped to set the stage for the story and what was taking place, while also allowing me to get a feel for the characters personalty and traits. Each story was quite descriptive and truly enjoyable to read. I must say that I was sad to see that the rabbit was eaten but such is life. I also learned something new in your story as I didn't know that there was such a creature as a Tanunki.. and they are so cute!
Overall, you did a great job on your project and congratulations on finishing the semester!
Hey there Drew! I just got the chance to take a look at your project. I really loved how you kept your page simple, and easy to navigate! I liked the images that you chose for each of the pages in your project because I feel like they helps set the mood sort of for all of your writing. Also, they weren't too over the top where the reader would have a hard time focusing! In regards to your actual content, I thought you did such a great job in using some vocabulary that was both unique and easy to follow. You were able to describe things quite well and I think that is what really kept me engaged in all of your stories. Since I am in the other class of Professor Gibbs', I was not as familiar with the stories, and yet I still feel like I was able to understand exactly what the meaning was overall behind the originals.
ReplyDeleteHey Drew!
ReplyDeleteGreat storybook! Yours is definitely my favorite that I have read this week! I really enjoy how you have woven so many different stories together, and I think the wow moment for me was when Reynard changed into a boy and got the guards. I did not see that coming, and found it very smart. I also was surprised by the Tanuki shifting to and from the form of a tea kettle. I thought that was a really cute idea. I wonder how Reynard feels about having killed someone that he spent so much time with. Did he like him and was he sad that he died, or did he never like him and doesn't care that he has died. What if, in your next story or your revision to this one you give the reader a little more of an inside look at how Reynard feels about all of this. Also, is the narrator god? I wasn't quite sure until almost the end, so you may want to be a little more clear on that. Also, what the heck is that animal shown in the Tanuki story? It looks like a badger or a raccoon. Explaining that just a bit maybe a good idea for your author's note.
Hi Drew! I read your "The Fox" story. I think it's truly creative and amazing. I like how the story begins with the first person perspective (that’s my favorite way to reading stories because it makes me feel more personally connected to the character). I like how the fox is entertaining, but inclined to trouble. Eventually, the fox seemed dead and lifeless: “He lay there seemingly lifeless, covered in the blood of the earth, until a bird came down to peck.” That is intense! But the fox was in fact not dead. So he just fooled the bird by pretending to be dead. I like how you said how the fox might block the sun for other creatures: fox was obviously shiny, funny, and charming! Tree is the symbol of wisdom in this story that guides the protagonist. I wonder how the fox might have been if the bird was eagle or hawk and brutally attacked as a prey. What if the fox couldn’t avoid the attack and became a prey to such big, aggressive bird? I bet the story might have turned out differently. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHi again Drew!
ReplyDeleteComing back after a month or so and reading each of the fantastic stories of Reynard the fox has been delightful. I especially loved how he proclaims his greatness to himself at the end of each story; this is totally in keeping with how I picture this character in my head, and it's too much fun to visualize this proud fox acknowledging his awesomeness at the end of each successful encounter.
The only thing I was a little sad about was that Trickster Anansi didn't make an appearance, but I realize not everyone chose the same reading material throughout the semester. If you haven't already heard of this African/Caribbean Trickster god, you might really enjoy some of the stories associated with him.
The ending was very satisfying, and pretty deep on more than one level. This was a great collection of stories, and your writing style worked great with these characters and concepts. Amazing job! Happy finals!